No BFF's, no sleepovers

When friends have a new significant other come into their life, to what extent should you work to get to know that person?  Should it even be on you? Should it be on them as they are the one coming into the situation?

I ask because as what normally happens when a friend gets a new person in their life, they start bringing them around. (I’m totally opposite on this btw, I don’t bring anyone around for awhile because it’s really serious if I start bringing a man around my friends.) I don’t warm up to people easily, that’s just how I am. It is very, very rare that I’m going to get all friendly with someone in less than a day of knowing them, especially when I don’t know that much about them.I see getting to know someone like building a house, you have to have a good foundation. (I’m all about foundations.) If we have something to build one, common background, work experience, school attendance, eg, then we could probably go from there….but starting with being the same sex and knowing the same people isn’t much.  

I happen to know a lot of people, I’m also not friendly with a lot of people, I’d put them in the associate zone in if anywhere. We hang out with and know the same people but I’m not likely to sit and have dinner with any of them. I’m not upset about it or anything, it is what it is. I’m good with that. I don’t know if it’s my personality or my age, but I don’t NEED people to like me. I think I got over that before high school. 

A couple of people have told me that they thought that I didn’t like them because I was a bit cold towards them. (I'm not the cheery all welcoming type. That's just not my personality.) I gave them both the same answer; it’s not that I don’t LIKE you, it’s that I don’t KNOW you well enough to form an opinion either way, and until I do. But I’m always watching and listening to what you do and what you say, because those go down in the like/dislike categories as well.

I do watch a lot more than listen though. You can pick up a LOT about people that way. Mostly because what a person SAYS is not what a person DOES. So hearing someone speak about a topic and their actions on that topic will say 1,000% more about what that person is actually about on that topic. I’ve listened to people say lots of stuff they want to do, need to do, but they actually do it? No.  It’s a shame. Cause if people actually watched what others did instead of only listening to what they said, they’d probably save them self 75% of the grief they go through in life.