Comets don't come around that often.

I've had this on my mind for awhile now, but I haven't blogged on it cause I knew I'd hurt some people's feelings. Then I remembered who I was, and said screw it, I'll do it anyway:  The older I have gotten, I've started to notice a pattern with men and women my age doing stupid relationship acts.

Men: You decide that it is 'time' for you to settle down and get married. So the next chick that wanders into your sites that you somewhat like, you bag her and tag her.

Women: You are so desperate to settle down and get married, you're trying to force a man that you should have let go of years ago into a mold of a what you think your perfect man is.

How sad.

Guys

Where this clock is that tells you it is time for you to get married? I'd like to break it.  How many of you have have missed out on a great woman because you felt it wasn't your 'time' to get married? Yet, when you decide that it is time, oh my damn, do your friends WISH they could turn back the clock! Really? It wasn't the right time for A, who was a five course meal at The Palm....damn near perfect, yet it's the right time for B and she's......well......2 for $20 at Applebee's. This example ticks me off two fold, cause not only does the guy pass on the right girl (grass is greener), but he marries (settles) with the wrong girl, then months, years, later, he realizes his mistake and god-willing, doesn't do it again.

But so much time wasted......why do you put yourselves through this? Get rid of the clock! Sure, there isn't just 'one' person for any of us out there, but when you come across one of the 'ones' dammit man, you don't let it go! They're like comets, they don't come around all that often. (I'm talking about the cool comets, like Hailey.) You've got to grab it when you can and don't let it go!

Granted, there are times, exceptional times, where you must let the Comet go. (War, death, intercontinental jobs, youth, family drama, alien abductions; TRULY exceptional times) What are you to do? You still don't settle for Applebee's!! True, you may not get The Palm again either you could get Ruth's Chris or Shula's but you really don't want to settle for a Applebee's after The Palm, do you?

Ladies

STOP THE MADDNESS!!

Can you PLEASE leave these fools on the corner where you found them? If you want to be nice, drop him off at his mamas house. It's bad enough you've gone and had babies by this lazy-ass, no job, welfare having, in and out of jail fool, but WHY do you keep letting him back in? Your house? Your bed? Your wallet? Especially when you KNOW his ass has just climbed out of someone ELSE'S bed!! WAKE UP! He is not your Prince Charming. Yes, you've wasted a LOT of years on that man, don't waste anymore on him. Walk away. NOW. The only thing that that man can bring you is more heart-ache, pain, a child by another woman and maybe an STD. Happiness? Pleasure? Joy? Contentment? Peace of Mind? Not from him. Hasn't he treated you like a fool and a doormat long enough? He's not going to be the man you want him to be, he never will be. The man you WANT is out there looking for you. Get out there so he can find you.

Forks and Spoons

I'm not feminist. I like men. A lot. I think they're the best things God put on this planet besides Haagen Daaz Vanilla Fudge Ice Cream (which they discontinued, bastards) and full body deep tissue massages. Most feminists give off the, "I am woman, hear me roar, cause I can do anything a man can do' cheer. Why? Just because I CAN do something doesn't mean I SHOULD or NEED TO: hell, I can change a flat tire, why should I? I know plenty of guys that can do it for me. Ladies, guess what? Men LIKE doing stuff for us; it makes them feel manly. Give them something manly to do, then thank them kindly for it. You, and they, will be glad you did.

I can't do everything a man can do; a man can't do everything that I, a woman, can do. Stop telling me that I don't need a man to do this or I don't need a man to do that. Yes, I do. We do. If mother nature intended for us to not need men, we would not need men to get pregnant. Don't talk to me about doctors and invetro and all that, cause do you know what you still need at the end of the day? A man. And if men were depended upon for children, well, humanity probably would of ended 10,000 years ago.  I hate to tell you feminists this, but we aren't equal; we are Forks and Spoons.

It's a weird analogy, I know, but when I read it in a book, it fits perfectly. You don't use a fork to eat soup and you don't use a spoon to eat spaghetti. Each utensil is needed for specific tasks, yet sometimes, they can be used for the same task. (Ever run out of clean spoons and you really, really are dying for some ice cream? Forks work!) We have our differences, each needed to do a specific job, but to complete your meal, you need both a fork and a spoon, right?

You belong with me....but I'm not waiting for you to realize it.

Have you ever crushed on someone that was with the wrong person, you know they're so right for you, but you refuse to be THAT person that is the cause for the break up?

Yup. Me too.

But what did you do? Cry? Stare at your crush from afar and curse fates for giving you such terrible timing? Did you make little voodoo dolls of their girlfriend and try for the worst to overtake them? Did you sit at home, eating ice cream and drinking wine moaning with your girlfriends about how all the really great guys were taken with girls they didn't need to be with?

Yup. Me too.

Then one day I woke up and asked myself, 'Why?' Why am I'm pining away for someone I cannot have? There are thousands, no, MILLIONS of  someones I can have out there? Really, why are you wasting your time on that ONE that doesn't see you/isn't ready for you/can't have you/doesn't want you when there are THOUSANDS of them out there that DO? No, MILLIONS. 

Yes: Millions. Start strapping on your stilettos and get your freak'em dress on!

Yeah, there are PLENTY of great guys out there with wasting their time on girls they shouldn't, just because they don't want to be alone or the one guy in their group of friends that doesn't have a girlfriend. Then that one REALLY great woman comes along that's perfect for him and what's SHE suppose to do, wait? Hell no: Millions. There is no 'One'  in this world; there are 'Ones'. Someone may be your 'One' at this point in your life, but if the time is not right for either of you, move on; another 'One' will come along or if fate likes you, she'll bring that 'One' back around.

Why wait and hope on one man who doesn't want you where there are THOUSANDS out there that do? No. Millions.

The Blueprint: Part I

I'm 44 pounds lighter than I was this time last year. Many people have told me that I have inspired them and have asked me what I have been doing. When I set out on my journey, I never meant to inspire anyone else, just to be a better me. I'm still not done with my journey, I'm at about the halfway point right now.  But I figured that I can share with you what I've been doing/have done so far. Not everything works for everyone, it took me over 10 years to get to this point. I've tried damn near every diet and workout out plan out there. But after doing some research and LEARNING about my body, cause all bodies are different, I figured out what worked for me. 

The Food:  Dr. Abravanel's Body Type Diet and Lifetime Nutrition Plan

This book was a god send for me, before it, I was a sugar crazed caffeine addicted acne covered slob. My desk at one point had a candy drawer and a bowl. I would eat Pillsbury break n bake cookies almost nightly, by the tray. It was ugly. This book helped me break that addiction. It also tells you what types of workouts are good for your bodytype. The ones below were good for me, they may not be right for you if you're not my type.

  

The Workout(s): Insanity, TurboFire

Love, Love LOVE Insanity, but back in October, I couldn't do it to save my life. I was too fat. So to start losing weight and work my way up to it, I started doing TurboFire. It took me 4 mths of doing TF to get into good enough shape even do Insanity, and I'm still not great at it, but I can do it. I can DO it.

The Accountability: My Weight Doctor

Mom pushed this one on me. She wanted me to go. Her thinking was it took drugs for me to get fat to begin with, it was gonna take drugs to help me get the fat off. (Ladies, never, EVER go on Depo!) So after months of being my usual stubborn self, I finally broke down and went, best decision of my life. My normal weightloss yo-yo is do good for a while, plateau, then get discouraged and fall off the wagon. With them, it doesn't happen, they help me to adjust to the plateaus and curves that happen when your body wants to hold on to the fat. They encourage you when you're doing good and scold you when you're not, but keep pressing you to do better. I need that.

Eisenhower Road.

My dad has a picture from my brother's year at NAPS (Naval Academy Prep School. Newport, RI for those who don't know) from the annual NAPS/MAPS (West Point's prep school) game.  The picture is of my brother, Brendan Looney, who were at NAPS, and Anthony Miller who attended MAPS. The three of them played football at DeMatha together and dad captured the 'together again' moment of Brendan and Tony in their jersey's while David was still in his whites, he wasn't playing football anymore.

It's amazing the milliseconds in time that pictures can capture. Who would have imagined so many years ago that my brother would be the only one to reach 30? Tony died of a heart attack on February 1, 2002. A heart attack and hadn't even reached his 21st birthday. http://theantmillproject.com/index.html

I usually spend Memorial day at Arlington Cemetery, this year I was out of town so I went the Sunday before. The normal crowds were there; with tourist season in full swing, there were plenty of tour groups on the grounds. But when you go to Arlington, you'll notice as the larger crowds head up the tourist route to see JFK's grave, the Tomb of the Unknowns and Arlington House, there are a few of us who break off from the crowds and head left down Eisenhower Rd where not many people walk. If you happen to pass someone, you give them a nod of your head, knowing where they came from; it's those who pass you in their cars that gives you the knot in your throat. After about 10 or so minutes I make a left onto York Road.

Section 60. I wish I had no one to visit here. But where I once had one person to visit, I now have three. I drop a stone whenever I go by.

60-8564: Christopher John-Lee West.  I met his sister on one of my cruises. We had lots to bond about; both of our brothers were in the military, CJ in the Army. In 2007/2008 both of them were in Iraq. CJ was killed by a IED 4 Feb 2008.

60-9179: Travis L. Manion. I didn't know him. He graduated from the Academy with my brother and he was Brendan's roommate and friend and that is enough. http://www.travismanion.com/

60-9180: Brendan John Looney. I don't think I've ever felt the physical impact of emotions as I did when I heard of Brendan's death. It literally hurt. His family and mine had wandered the DeMatha/NAPS/USNA path together and having him gone still seems wrong.

I hope because the President mentioned Travis and Brendan in his Memorial day speech hoards of people don't descend on Section 60 for a photo op. There are families everyday still grieving, they deserve the same respect and privacy due anyone at any cemetery.