Aunt Flo and her 7 moods

I'm going to over share, cause I just feel like doing that tonight. 

As a female from age12 til about our mid 50's, mother nature let's us know every month that we can have babies.  And barring that first time where we're elated because 'we're women now' and all that fun stuff and the last time where 'we're no longer women cause we can't have babies anymore' stuff, most months are pretty mundane.  Most. 

But some months Aunt Flo likes to visit with one or more of her moods. I like to compare them to the seven dwarfs, but not exactly like them because I, of course, had to put my own twist on them.  Happy, Dopey, Sleepy, Horny, Crazy, Bitchy, and Bloated. Now you may or may not have experienced these moods yourself or you may have one that you would like to add (feel free to.) These are the ones that I have personally come across over my now two decades in womanhood. (damn it's been that long?!)

1. Happy - The best mood of the all! You are perfectly normal. And it doesn't even feel like 'that time' for you. You're happy, everyone's happy, it's wonderful.

2. Dopey - You are not your normal self. At all. You're making Anna Nicole Smith look like a double major at M.I.T. and God forbid someone ask you what 2 + 2 is! People ask you questions and they have to repeat themselves three times before you can actually understand what they're saying. It's as sad state.

3. Sleepy - Why did you even get out of bed this morning? You fell asleep sitting in traffic and you were late coming in to work cause you fell asleep in the parking lot. There's now a knot on your heat cause you slammed your head against the desk when it fell outta your hands and no amount of coffee or energy drink is gonna wake you up, you need your bed.

4. Horny - You have reverted back to the primal nature of man 10,000 years ago and it's taking every fiber of your being not to attack and ravage every fine and/or nice smelling man that passes your way.  It just may be safer for you and most of the male population to stay home the next few days.

5. Crazy - You aren't making any sense. Your friends are saying you're acting crazy, so is your family. Your boss is asking if everything is ok with you. Basically, you have lost your damn mind for no reason. Proceed to the nearest CVS and buy so Midol, ASAP.

6. Bitchy - Most people would put Bitchy and Crazy together, but there's a difference between the two. Bitchy means you're complaining about any and everything, even if it for no apparent reason. Crazy, you can start out as Bitchy, and then head off into space.

7. Bloated - Remember that scene from Ghostbusters when Staypuff the Marshmallow Man comes down the street?  That's how most of us feel when we're bloated and can't fit into any of our clothes and are sitting in our living room on a Friday night bitching on the phone with our girlfriends about stupid designers and how fat we feel.

Yeah, I know, I over shared, but I hope I amused you somewhat.